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Teabaggin'

by 555-Balls

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1.
she was stolen from her life at the age of 19 had to illegal immigrate to canon green forced to sell booze on the golf course scene poor lori anne She had to drive 40 hours to register the truck of a down-on-his-luck dirty physicist schmuck when all he could afford was 2-buck chuck poor lori anne when you look at it now I guess it ain't a good plan when a woman makes her bed with a physicist man now she's takin' 'bout as much as she can stand poor lori anne to follow her man you gotta call her brave cuz she would work without a green card like a slave she would nanny just to make enough so he could shave poor lori anne when she finally tied the knot she got big scare when a bunch grown men holding hands, asses bare went prancing past her grandma with nary a care poor lori anne take it away boys... she got a benzyl drawn by a hobo brewster wake up every morning to roger's red rooster i bet she's hoping someone come along and shoots her poor lori anne I'd guess it's more than any mere human can take when you're trapped in a waterloo melko state she gotta put on a face cuz every orgasm's fake for poor lori anne when you look at it now I guess it ain't a good plan when a woman makes her bed with a physicist man now she's takin' 'bout as much as she can stand poor lori anne welllll, she got the luttinger liquid slipped into her booze frustrated lattice dirty physicist goob illegal immigrate to tennessee from waterloo blues
2.
Snake charmer with a broken flute 5-cent store in a $50 dollar suit Anyone could see right through Live wire with the battery dead Skeleton crew that’s working inside your head It’s not you… it’s what you choose You’d better take it any way you can You’d better take it any way you can You say that time will tell Well I say you can go straight to hell You’d better take it any way you can You’d better take it any way you can You say we oughtta give it a try But we both know that your lead balloons won’t fly I’m laughing at you, now you’re the fool I never wanted to lie to you But some things I won’t say even if they’re true So stop looking at me like I’m so cruel You’d better take it any way you can You’d better take it any way you can You say that time will tell Well I say you can go straight to hell You’d better take it any way you can You’d better take it any way you can
3.
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger 8th grade he drank a forty, drunk Sent to the principal, puking in the office Ending in the hospital stomach getting pumped This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger Went to the dealership to steal a little gas Tried to hide in a ditch but he couldn't get away Cops were stepping on his neck and whooping his ass Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger Doing a little ice fishing out on the lake Tells us all about a frustrated Luttinger Liquid And the greasy shit that he gonna take This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger Out in the bush he was hunting for a moose Then he shot it dead and while chopping off the antler MIssed and hit an eye and his mouth caught the juice Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger Drinking in the hot tub & skeezin on some ho's Talkin' smack to the po-po and so they brought him in And he's sitting there in county not wearing any clothes This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger Spent all his grant money working on a JOM Worked his red rocket but the thing blew a sprocket So he lost his position but at least he got a song Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger
4.
Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero A strange man in a foreign land Quantum computing whatever he can Captain X-Tremo… He can turn a fondue into a toxic brew More potent than a frat boy’s jungle juice He can get pretty wasted on a Pastis colada But instead of passing out he’ll do a via ferrata He drags a novice climber (knows no knots) on multi-pitches He wrecks his car and fixes it with bumper stitches He can think for minutes, sex for seconds, given the chance He can eat excessive sauerkraut and poop in his pants Captain X-creto, poops in his pants Captain X-creto, poops in his pants He’ll eat a ton of sauerkraut if given the chance And if you watch and wait he’s gonna poop in his pants Captain X-tremo… In quantum mechanics he bolted from his desk When he returned we all could see the puke dried to his chest With Uncle Roger’s cousin I know he got it on But at Uncle Roger’s wedding I know he took it off Captain X-tremo, streaking the wedding Captain X-tremo, streaking the wedding Running naked with men while holding their hands It all must be a part of the master plan of Captain X-tremo… Under a cop car he threw my sombrero 8 cops came to get me while I’s diggin it out They pushed and the pulled me, pressed my face into the wall But I knew I’d be safe, I heard X-tremo call: I’m gonna call my lawyer Captain X-Tremo, calling his lawyer Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero A strange man in a foreign land Who will call his lawyer whenever he can Captain X-Tremo… Well I remember the time we were out in Tennessee X-tremo was smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer, & changing a CD While he was yakking on the phone while he was driving to the lake To do a little water skiing while we were getting baked We saw a silo sitting there ‘bout halfway submerged Not too be intimidated, off the boat he surged He swam beneath the surface to pry open that rusty door While we just sat that drinking, thinking what in the world for? He dove down deep and swam inside to find a ladder he could climb He’s halfway up then looks around in just the nick of time Spiders big as any man’s hand by his feet, his hands, his thighs With the biggest one and inch away from nibbling on his eyes He darted to the very top and managed to get clear And spied on yonder cliff a thing that only he could fear A 15-year old cliff dive girl who was slurping a stolen beer Was pointing at him and laughing thinking that he couldn’t hear So he dove back thru that rusty door and he swam out to the boat He skied to yonder cliff and climbed up top engorged with hope He was not to be outdone By some 15-yr old girl He ran and launched out into space And gave himself a twirl He was flailing, flying Praying, Crying Twisting, Trying Almost dying Til he launched Flat onto his back And got A great big purple bruise I think it looks like Elvis It was Captain X-tremo, he is my hero Captain X-tremo, he is my hero A strange man in a foreign land Quantum computing whatever he can Captain X-tremo… Captain X-tremo, calling his lawyer Captain X-tremo, poops in his pants A strange man in a foreign land He’ll up and streak a wedding whenever he can Captain X-tremo…
5.
You want someone to love you You want someone to blame I see you looking at me right now You wonder if I feel the same I've got nowhere to run to I've nowhere to hide You put the question to me point blank So I've got no reason to lie It's beside the point, manipulating dreams A dividing line that separates you from me You're not calling me stupid You're just hoping I am You try to sell me a lemon baby But I can tell it's a sham I see you looking for something Something doesn't have a name Someone with a role of slave I can tell you right now I won't play that game You'd have me believe you could believe in me But I don't need your disease It's beside the point, manipulating dreams A dividing line that separates you from me
6.
That's right... I think there's something you know that you're not telling me I can smell the fear dripping out with all your sweat You never look me in the eye anymore when I come home at night And my friends are looking at me like they just told a joke that I don't get You're foolin' around... Now maybe it's just me that finds it funny that you get so many texts from the pizza place I don't mind you gettin' breadsticks, it's the extra sausage that gets me red in the face I don't know who you think you're fooling as you sneak behind my back and fool around I guess I'd be a lot more bent if I didn't have my own thing going down Cuz I'm foolin' around When you are foolin' around Who you think you're foolin' now?

about

Some hopefully entertaining stuff I'm playing around with on my cheesy 8 track...Keep in mind this is essentially all me so the solos and drums are megasstastic.

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released June 28, 2015

RJ

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555-Balls Nipomo, California

Fallen to earth after a brutal battle with Zykra, 555-Balls is ready to destroy your world with sleaze...

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