1. |
Poor Lori Anne
03:43
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she was stolen from her life at the age of 19
had to illegal immigrate to canon green
forced to sell booze on the golf course scene
poor lori anne
She had to drive 40 hours to register the truck
of a down-on-his-luck dirty physicist schmuck
when all he could afford was 2-buck chuck
poor lori anne
when you look at it now I guess it ain't a good plan
when a woman makes her bed with a physicist man
now she's takin' 'bout as much as she can stand
poor lori anne
to follow her man you gotta call her brave
cuz she would work without a green card like a slave
she would nanny just to make enough so he could shave
poor lori anne
when she finally tied the knot she got big scare
when a bunch grown men holding hands, asses bare
went prancing past her grandma with nary a care
poor lori anne
take it away boys...
she got a benzyl drawn by a hobo brewster
wake up every morning to roger's red rooster
i bet she's hoping someone come along and shoots her
poor lori anne
I'd guess it's more than any mere human can take
when you're trapped in a waterloo melko state
she gotta put on a face cuz every orgasm's fake for
poor lori anne
when you look at it now I guess it ain't a good plan
when a woman makes her bed with a physicist man
now she's takin' 'bout as much as she can stand
poor lori anne
welllll, she got the luttinger liquid slipped into her booze
frustrated lattice dirty physicist goob
illegal immigrate to tennessee from waterloo blues
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2. |
Take It Any Way You Can
03:07
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Snake charmer with a broken flute
5-cent store in a $50 dollar suit
Anyone could see right through
Live wire with the battery dead
Skeleton crew that’s working inside your head
It’s not you… it’s what you choose
You’d better take it any way you can
You’d better take it any way you can
You say that time will tell
Well I say you can go straight to hell
You’d better take it any way you can
You’d better take it any way you can
You say we oughtta give it a try
But we both know that your lead balloons won’t fly
I’m laughing at you, now you’re the fool
I never wanted to lie to you
But some things I won’t say even if they’re true
So stop looking at me like I’m so cruel
You’d better take it any way you can
You’d better take it any way you can
You say that time will tell
Well I say you can go straight to hell
You’d better take it any way you can
You’d better take it any way you can
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3. |
Dirty Uncle Roger
03:19
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This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
8th grade he drank a forty, drunk
Sent to the principal, puking in the office
Ending in the hospital stomach getting pumped
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
Went to the dealership to steal a little gas
Tried to hide in a ditch but he couldn't get away
Cops were stepping on his neck and whooping his ass
Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
Doing a little ice fishing out on the lake
Tells us all about a frustrated Luttinger Liquid
And the greasy shit that he gonna take
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
Out in the bush he was hunting for a moose
Then he shot it dead and while chopping off the antler
MIssed and hit an eye and his mouth caught the juice
Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
Drinking in the hot tub & skeezin on some ho's
Talkin' smack to the po-po and so they brought him in
And he's sitting there in county not wearing any clothes
This is the story of Dirty Uncle Roger
Spent all his grant money working on a JOM
Worked his red rocket but the thing blew a sprocket
So he lost his position but at least he got a song
Oooooh, ahhhhhh, Dirty Uncle Roger
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4. |
Captain X-tremo
06:07
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Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero
Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero
A strange man in a foreign land
Quantum computing whatever he can
Captain X-Tremo…
He can turn a fondue into a toxic brew
More potent than a frat boy’s jungle juice
He can get pretty wasted on a Pastis colada
But instead of passing out he’ll do a via ferrata
He drags a novice climber (knows no knots) on multi-pitches
He wrecks his car and fixes it with bumper stitches
He can think for minutes, sex for seconds, given the chance
He can eat excessive sauerkraut and poop in his pants
Captain X-creto, poops in his pants
Captain X-creto, poops in his pants
He’ll eat a ton of sauerkraut if given the chance
And if you watch and wait he’s gonna poop in his pants
Captain X-tremo…
In quantum mechanics he bolted from his desk
When he returned we all could see the puke dried to his chest
With Uncle Roger’s cousin I know he got it on
But at Uncle Roger’s wedding I know he took it off
Captain X-tremo, streaking the wedding
Captain X-tremo, streaking the wedding
Running naked with men while holding their hands
It all must be a part of the master plan of
Captain X-tremo…
Under a cop car he threw my sombrero
8 cops came to get me while I’s diggin it out
They pushed and the pulled me, pressed my face into the wall
But I knew I’d be safe, I heard X-tremo call:
I’m gonna call my lawyer
Captain X-Tremo, calling his lawyer
Captain X-Tremo, he is my hero
A strange man in a foreign land
Who will call his lawyer whenever he can
Captain X-Tremo…
Well I remember the time we were out in Tennessee
X-tremo was smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer, & changing a CD
While he was yakking on the phone while he was driving to the lake
To do a little water skiing while we were getting baked
We saw a silo sitting there ‘bout halfway submerged
Not too be intimidated, off the boat he surged
He swam beneath the surface to pry open that rusty door
While we just sat that drinking, thinking what in the world for?
He dove down deep and swam inside to find a ladder he could climb
He’s halfway up then looks around in just the nick of time
Spiders big as any man’s hand by his feet, his hands, his thighs
With the biggest one and inch away from nibbling on his eyes
He darted to the very top and managed to get clear
And spied on yonder cliff a thing that only he could fear
A 15-year old cliff dive girl who was slurping a stolen beer
Was pointing at him and laughing thinking that he couldn’t hear
So he dove back thru that rusty door and he swam out to the boat
He skied to yonder cliff and climbed up top engorged with hope
He was not to be outdone
By some 15-yr old girl
He ran and launched out into space
And gave himself a twirl
He was flailing, flying
Praying, Crying
Twisting, Trying
Almost dying
Til he launched
Flat onto his back
And got
A great big purple bruise
I think it looks like Elvis
It was Captain X-tremo, he is my hero
Captain X-tremo, he is my hero
A strange man in a foreign land
Quantum computing whatever he can
Captain X-tremo…
Captain X-tremo, calling his lawyer
Captain X-tremo, poops in his pants
A strange man in a foreign land
He’ll up and streak a wedding whenever he can
Captain X-tremo…
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5. |
Someone To Blame
03:29
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You want someone to love you
You want someone to blame
I see you looking at me right now
You wonder if I feel the same
I've got nowhere to run to
I've nowhere to hide
You put the question to me point blank
So I've got no reason to lie
It's beside the point, manipulating dreams
A dividing line that separates you from me
You're not calling me stupid
You're just hoping I am
You try to sell me a lemon baby
But I can tell it's a sham
I see you looking for something
Something doesn't have a name
Someone with a role of slave
I can tell you right now I won't play that game
You'd have me believe you could believe in me
But I don't need your disease
It's beside the point, manipulating dreams
A dividing line that separates you from me
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6. |
Foolin' Around
03:05
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That's right...
I think there's something you know that you're not telling me
I can smell the fear dripping out with all your sweat
You never look me in the eye anymore when I come home at night
And my friends are looking at me like they just told a joke that I don't get
You're foolin' around...
Now maybe it's just me that finds it funny that you get so many texts from the pizza place
I don't mind you gettin' breadsticks, it's the extra sausage that gets me red in the face
I don't know who you think you're fooling as you sneak behind my back and fool around
I guess I'd be a lot more bent if I didn't have my own thing going down
Cuz I'm foolin' around
When you are foolin' around
Who you think you're foolin' now?
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555-Balls Nipomo, California
Fallen to earth after a brutal battle with Zykra, 555-Balls is ready to destroy your world with sleaze...
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